'You know what I did this weekend? I've kinda, sorta wrote the introduction to my book.
"You're writing a book?" you say?
Ha! No. But somehow, after being a cheap ass and just having the Try a Sample sections of Tina Fey's Bossypants and Mindy Kaling's Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)sent to my Kindle App, I've constructed a well written and comical introductory snipet of my own book in my head. Okay, I may have written it down, but someday I may be famous and publishers will be begging me to write a book and I'll have already saved myself some time and earned myself even more money by having early submissions to the editor.
....I may have had a bit of a Shopahaulic moment there.... If you haven't read the Sophie Kinsella series, the main character, Rebecca Bloomwood, is infamous for sensationalizing small moments in her life into huge idealizations that lead to her self proclamations such as "the girl in the green scarf." This happens while she's convincing herself she needs to buy the out of budget designer scarf which will lead to everyone noticing her. I guess I just made myself "The funny girl from Minnesota who wrote a book."
I'm not even sure what kind of a book I would write. If it were the genre I read most, it would be contemporary romance. Could I write a fictional but witty story about two second-chancers that includes tawdry love scenes and still look people in the eye? I'm not sure. I do know I already have a list of crappy words I wouldn't use to describe wee-wees and hoo-has in my books.
There is always the subjectively narated romantic comedies written by Sophie Kinsella or Marian Keyes. I've noticed that these kind of books, prior to my buying all my books digitally, tend to be larger in physical size with more polished covers than the typical paperback Harlequins. Aside from the size of book, these often nix the actual explicit parts in their character's relationships. The fact that they skirt around "the juicy parts" frustrates me. If I'm subjected to the main character's comical yet electrifying attraction and proliferation of their relationship, the least the author could do is at least tell the details of their first....joining.
This is a reason I may not be able to write romance with the juicy parts. I've already compiled a mental list of people in which I'd be embarrassed of the knowledge they are reading this. And I haven't even said clit, cunt or penis. (Now I'm sitting here editing and debating whether I should at least PG-13 this thing and take that last sentence out.) So romances with canoodling or no canoodling, I have reservations about writing a romance. I think that makes me somewhat of a prude.
Tomorrow I will discuss Nicolas Sparks-esque romances, bundle all the other genres of fiction in which I don't read so probably couldn't write, Tina and Mindy type books and non-fiction.
I will also be doing a GIVEAWAY this week!!!!!! It's going to be a good one, too, so share and promote my blog with your friends! Here's the link to my blog if you want to share-
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