Shopping Spree

We have a Winner! Miss Amy D. for Grand Meadow, MN won the fabulous prizes I had to offer and gave me the topic of A Book Shopping Spree. This was her response to her notification email:

Gotta love a girl who gives a good acceptance speech when none was warranted :)

So here goes my/her blog:
If you could go on a shopping spree, for books, would you be giddy as you were that time the drunk dad gave you twenty dollars too much for babysitting? Or would you do a funny lowered eyebrow, lip curled look?
Me? Not only would it be like the day I got paid forty bucks for three hours of babysitting but add the day I got my drivers license AND the day I grew boobies on top of that. These did not all happen on the same day, but they were truly great days in Sarah World. I'd be down right giddy.
I know reading isn't everyone's cup of coffee, but it's my favorite past time. When I first took up reading, I read lots of different genres of books.  Epic tales, autobiographies, non-fiction, horror, mystery, and finally settled in with a romance and I knew that was mine kind of reading. I had a well rounded view of how people wrote and what I cared for and what I didn't. 
Among the more 'cultured' things I've read, I read Roots by Alex Haley.
   
 It's long, but it's a well rounded tale with characters that I hated to see ill fated. Moving along with my diversified enlightenment, I read The Color Purple by Alice Walker. Good, good book. And if you want to go full stream go ahead and read The Help, too. I accidentally picked up an African American romance once. Somehow I feel like I should have known this one was different from the others being the cover was all done in colors of a Jamaican flag... I couldn't identify with the characters, so I quit that one early.
I do this. If the book goes nowhere, I quit. Some are easier than others to decide I want to go all honey badger and don't give a f*ck how it ends.

Like the third book of Fifty Shades? Yup, quit somewhere in the twelfth chapter. I did read the last two pages and was totally satisfied by not knowing all the Mr. &Mrs. Whateverhislastnamewas and boinking that was crammed in the middle.
    
Twilight and The Hunger Games- my sister had to talk my into finishing them. I will discuss my reasons in a different blog one of these days. I didn't even read The Girl series. I just thought I'd add them because it's been one set of books amongst my friends that they've recommended.
As far as series of books go, I loves me series of books. I enjoy the follow-through of a story even if it's different characters in each book. Romance writers tend to do this: Write books containing different members of a certain family. I like this because it's a bit of family reunion when earlier members are mentioned. Here are a few I've enjoyed:

 
The Full Series by Janet Evanovich and Charlotte Hughes



The Kentucky Bluegrass Series by Kathleen Brooks

Kowalski Series

Series I've enjoyed that are continuations of a set of the same characters-

Stephanie Plum Series by Janet Evanovich -  I caution you the beginning of the series is really well detailed and reads like a mystery, but poor Stephanie has been dressed like a sad nineties fashion victim. I had to mentally redress her. I also caution, the past few books have lost their luster. They really read like they've been copied and pasted for previous books. This saddens me because I used to count down the days until the new book release. I haven't even made it to the second chapter of the book that came out in November. But the early works are great!

Sookie Stackhouse by Charlaine Harris, Again, the series is dying. I have yet to read the last published book, but I was entertained through it. You'll be outraged by HBO's use of creative license on the True Blood series after reading these books.
     
Hanna Garvey Series by Suzan Ledbetter I love, love, love these books. These are my blanky books. They are the ones I reread when I need a vacation, need the comfort of thing remembered, I just don't know, I think it's the first series of books I had ever read and they spoke to me.


Shopaholic Series by Sophie Kinsella- The books rock, the movie sucks donkey butt.

Little House Books by Laura Ingalls Wilder- If you can't appreciate these books, you're dumb. And un-American.

In high school, I had a class called Novels. Best. Elective. Ever. I wasn't an avid reader at that time but I had filled my arts requirements, and the classes where we got to make and eat food, so I took Novels. I read a lot of Steven King. I liked Steven King back then. Today, I try not to let my emotions get riled up for no reason. Reading horror and suspense do not appeal to my want for unnecessary emotions. I also read The Odyssey. Ho Hum. While I can now appreciate the satirical outlook shows such as The Simpsons have taken on it, that's all the good it did me in life.

I'm not sure how a book shopping spree topic turned into Books Sarah's Read and Enjoyed, but so it is and I'll tell you more.
I would read anything Tina Fey ever wanted to write. I'm in the middle of Bossypants and Paul keeps looking at me weird because I'm busting out laughing. Tina Fey gets me. I get her. We could be friends. I think I'm going to read more of these type books- Betty White, Chelsey Handler, Jenny McCarthy....
Getting back to the original topic, if I were privy to a book shopping spree, I'd be able to check out all the books on the New York Times Best Seller list. If I could afford to read best sellers and top authors, I'd be a more educated and well rounded person. I just have such a problem with spending thirteen dollars on a Kindle book when the paper version is seventeen.  According to Amazon I have purchased (free books included) 180 books this year. Okay, so a few of those are titles such as "Orangy the Goldfish" are thanks to Ella, but 'tis true, I've read 180 books this past year. I'm counting paper books and pirated borrowed books in that total.
If I were to go on that spree, I'd go to an actual book store and look for titles to send to my Kindle app for my iPhone. There's something about bookstores that's a bit magical and upscale. The downtown (Rochester, MN) Barnes and Noble taking residence in an old movie theater building with it's castle balconies and starry ceiling, enhanced by the smell of the coffee shop and new books is invigorating to me.

There are SO many books and authors I'd like to lead you toward, but I'm going to leave you with what I've bestowed upon you this evening.

GIVEAWAY!!!!!

Today is the day to start entering for the My Lent Vent Giveaway!!!!! I'm not sure if you are as excited as I am or maybe you don't want the crap I have to offer (it's not crap, btw) but it's up for the taking.

Soooo.... This is what you could win-

If the picture isn't self explanitory, you'll get:
Vinyl printed "My Therapist" wine glass from Scraps of Love by Jen (Click on the link to visit her fabulous Etsy store!)
Three count bag of Lindor truffles (My favorite chocolate.)
A digital copy of Exclusively Yours by Shannon Stacey sent to your Kindle or Nook
(Just download one of the free ereader apps to your phone or tablet!)

And how do you enter?
It's easy peasy. Just send me an email at -----> mylentvent@gmail.com <----- with the following information:
1. Your name
2. Mailing address
3. Email address associated with your Kindle or Nook
4. Contact email (if different from your reader)
AND THEN...
Tell me what you want me to write about. Just shoot me a subject. Any 'ol subject. I can write about anything. Your topic will be my featured blog on Friday, March 15th.
AND IF YOU WOULD BE A DEAR....
Share my link with a friend or on your Facebook wall- http://mylentvent.blogspot.com but remember, email to enter.

Winner will be chosen at random from email entries on Friday, March 15th and will by notified via email prior to their subject being blogged about on that day. No cash value in exchange for prizes.
Your personal information will not be used for anything other than getting your prizes to you. 

Writing II

This is where I left off yesterday:

Tomorrow (That's now today.)  I will discuss Nicolas Sparks-esque romances, bundle all the other genres of fiction in which I don't read so probably couldn't write, Tina and Mindy type books and non-fiction.

There are always Nicolas Sparks type books... Could I write a love story that has a reader so emotionally invested they actually cry while reading the character's tragic or uplifting plight? Probably not. I think I'm a little too sarcastic by nature. I think I've read two of Spark's books. The Notebook (Loved it and cried through the last 60 pages.) and A Walk to Remember (Didn't love it so much.) I guess I choose reading as a refuge, not something that pulls me into a world of love and loss. You could say that I could draw off of my own tragic love story that is still being played out in my life, but I don't think I'm emotionally mature enough to put that all out onto a platter for everyone to read right now. My emotional wall is a well laid set of thick bricks without mortar as is stands and writing too much just might make it tumble into a pile of emotional wreckage.

This would be true for writing a work of nonfiction either as an autobiographical story or one of inspiration at this time in my life. I could tell you "how it really feels" as I feel like I sometimes hold back while writing updates on Paul's Carepage. Somethings are just too intimate or to divulge. If I were to write a book of this genre, it would totally and completely read like a copy and paste of Tina and Mindy's books only with my own anecdotes. Is there a funny way to write about teen pregnancy, mommy and daddyhood and cancer? I'd like to think so. Truth is, Paul and I have created more laughing moments and inappropriateness out of our lives together than the somber realism we may be expected to exhibit. If you hear laughter bounding through the cancer ward, it's probably me. Laughing at my husband. It's unfortunate I can remember things like the girl who went to our school for two months in fifth grade but not the conversation I had about a piece of mail I received last week. This may hinder my ability to write a work of nonfiction.
As far as other types of books such as horror, suspense, legal thrillers.... I don't read them, nor do I possess the thought process to write you a long and tangled web of lies, deceit and whodunit. It's just not how my mind works and simply, not how I roll. If there are other genres out there, I'm completely oblivious to them. I guess Amazon doesn't even bother to suggest any other kinds of books. They magically know me better than that.

At some point I am going to do a Part III to this idealization that I'm going to author something someday. Like, there are parts to the writing process in which I will have to revisit English class and think about plot points and character arcs and antagonists (See? Right there, I had to actually Google 'What is the bad person in a story called?' to come up with the word antagonist.) Already, my eyes are glazing over and my mind is shutting down.... Additionally, there's getting published and so, so much more I have no idea how to proceed with the whole shebang. I saw a sitcom the other day where a woman sold her blog rights to Hollywood for millions of dollars. The fictional blog was named "Smart girls don't suck." I would totally read that. I would totally go for just being discovered one day and handing the whole thing over for gobs of money.

Now that I'm back to reality, I suppose I should come to the realization that things cannot be that easy and the dishes need to be done. Fantasy is so much easier. And dryer. I'm kind of sloppy when I do dishes.

Check back in tomorrow for details on my GIVEAWAY! Yes, I'll be giving away PRIZES!

Writing

'You know what I did this weekend? I've kinda, sorta wrote the introduction to my book.

"You're writing a book?" you say?

Ha! No. But somehow, after being a cheap ass and just having the Try a Sample sections of Tina  Fey's Bossypants and Mindy Kaling's Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)sent to my Kindle App, I've constructed a well written and comical introductory snipet of my own book in my head. Okay, I may have written it down, but someday I may be famous and publishers will be begging me to write a book and I'll have already saved myself some time and earned myself even more money by having early submissions to the editor.

....I may have had a bit of a Shopahaulic moment there.... If you haven't read the Sophie Kinsella series, the main character, Rebecca Bloomwood, is infamous for sensationalizing small moments in her life into huge idealizations that lead to her self proclamations such as "the girl in the green scarf." This happens while she's convincing herself she needs to buy the out of budget designer scarf which will lead to everyone noticing her. I guess I just made myself "The funny girl from Minnesota who wrote a book."

I'm not even sure what kind of a book I would write. If it were the genre I read most, it would be contemporary romance. Could I write a fictional but witty story about two second-chancers that includes tawdry love scenes and still look people in the eye? I'm not sure. I do know I already have a list of crappy words I wouldn't use to describe wee-wees and hoo-has in my books.

There is always the subjectively narated romantic comedies written by Sophie Kinsella or Marian Keyes. I've noticed that these kind of books, prior to my buying all my books digitally, tend to be larger in physical size with more polished covers than the typical paperback Harlequins. Aside from the size of book, these often nix the actual explicit parts in their character's relationships. The fact that they skirt around "the juicy parts" frustrates me.  If I'm subjected to the main character's comical yet electrifying attraction and proliferation of their relationship, the least the author could do is at least tell the details of their first....joining.

This is a reason I may not be able to write romance with the juicy parts. I've already compiled a mental list of people in which I'd be embarrassed of the knowledge they are reading this. And I haven't even said clit, cunt or penis. (Now I'm sitting here editing and debating whether I should at least PG-13 this thing and take that last sentence out.)  So romances with canoodling or no canoodling, I have reservations about writing a romance. I think that makes me somewhat of a prude.

Tomorrow I will discuss Nicolas Sparks-esque romances, bundle all the other genres of fiction in which I don't read so probably couldn't write, Tina and Mindy type books and non-fiction.

I will also be doing a GIVEAWAY this week!!!!!! It's going to be a good one, too, so share and promote my blog with your friends! Here's the link to my blog if you want to share-

http://mylentvent.blogspot.com

Things I'm Obsessed with Right Now

Things I'm obsessed with right now.....

Coffee.
I've been a fiend for years. It is the second thing I do in the morning-make my coffee. (Nature calls first, in case you weren't wondering.)  I love the smell of the grounds (part of my routine is a big good morning sniff of the package) and I anxiously wait for it to brew. Which isn't nearly fast enough... I should clean my maker, but I swear, it takes a really long time for the coffee to get that full coffee flavor after scrub-a-dub-dubbing it. I really should get a Keurig so I can brew a cup while waiting for the whole pot to brew.... That wouldn't be obsessive, would it? A Pre-coffee maker to have while waiting for the full coffee pot to brew? My favorite brand of grounds is Dunkin' Dounuts brand, btw. And I use cream. Well, Coffeemate. I've been on a long and wide search for Fat Free Original Coffemate, but it seems not to be a popular "flavor" in my neck of the woods. Grocery stores must have an unspoken full fat creamer or real cream only rule in the land of dairy.
Special K Pastry Crips.
These buggers are yummy. Wait, scratch the fact I said yummy. I hate that word. (Based on how many pictures of other people's food I've been subjected to on Facebook with the caption of "yummy", the word now evokes nausea.) Crap, off subject there. Anyway, Pastry  Crisps are delish for these reasons One- It's 100 calories a pack. Two- they taste like the corners of pop tarts(which is my favorite part of pop tarts) with just enough filling to give these things flavor without being too sickly sweet as I find Pop Tarts to get. Three- In case you need further recommendation, I like the chocolate ones best, then the cinnamon, then the strawberry. They come in other flavors, too. I tried the Berry Streusel today. Not a fan.
Shannon Stacey.
I am so glad the powers of Amazon recommendations led me to this author! The first book I read of hers,  "Exclusively Yours" had me laughing my butt off. I'm so in love with the characters, the setting, the whole shebang. It pains me to admit this, but I'm a sucker for contemporary romances. That include naughty parts. This one is like none other I've read. The characters have sharp mouths and aren't afraid to give one another shit when shit is due. (As the semi-certified "Swears like a Sailor at Port" individual that I am, I embrace the character's language.) In the book, there is a big family with a hoard of comical kids and there's camping and swimming and four wheeling and annual volleyball games of Doom!  (Most of the family's activities and competitions have the appendage of 'of  Doom!') It's just all so completely endearing and relatable with the family dynamics, personal struggles that come with living life and maintaining lasting relationships and just being able to laugh about where life sticks you sometimes. Read this book!
Click here for information on getting your own copy.
I've also become a fan of this author's blog. She's my new literary hero :)
Copious amounts of ranch dressing on pizza-
I am not a fan of pizza. Don't scoff, I'd just rather have something, almost anything else over pizza. Until one night last week when I played the lazy card and made frozen Tombstones in the pizza maker and my little mini-me sang the praises of ranch dressing on pizza. So why not?  I tried it. And now I want to have frozen pizza with gobs of ranch all the time. And Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs. Nothing rounds out a good meal of fat on fat like Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs.

Scarves-
My neck feels naked without the warmth of a decorative scarf. I really hate the fact that the world will soon thaw and I'll have to accessorize with *ack* necklaces once more.... Until then, I embrace my colorful bands of fabric that I love so much.

I hope this has been informative, slightly entertaining or just a nice way to waste some time for y'all. 'Til tomorrow!