Best of Pinterest Humor

I thought I was going to get away with a fast post today, but I just spent half an hour looking through my "Things That Make Me Laugh Out Loud" Pinterest board. So... yeah... notsoquick....

Anyways.... Here's some good ones:  

(Then I just wasted more time changing those words to different colors :/)

 

 

I agree. Big ones.

 

 

Yeah, what do you know, phone?

Although, this reminds me of a texting conversation I had with my sister, Jaime, last week. Her phone turned a regular word INTO a swear word.  

 

 

I want me a cape so I can be SUPER LAZY.

Speaking of capes:

 

 

I love this bib.

 

 

Sometimes, even that stuff is half assed, because I'm the:

 

 

And, again, because I'm lazy (and old):

 

 

I wonder what lies my kids' teachers tell them now?

 

 

Seriously, I said this three times before I got it.

 

 

 

 

HA! Gotcha twice!

 





 

Sounds like something my husband would say... He thinks he's funny.

 



Could you imagine saying that to some little old wheelchair bound grandma? :)

 

Here's one from actual people I know:

 

Thanks, Ryan and Gwen, for sharing this. I know I didn't ask permission, but you put it on Facebook, therefore, we all own it :)

 

 

Clever :) But if it were a baby:

 

 

And THIS baby makes me laugh. This may be the funniest thing on Pinterest:

 



 

 

 

Writing

'You know what I did this weekend? I've kinda, sorta wrote the introduction to my book.

"You're writing a book?" you say?

Ha! No. But somehow, after being a cheap ass and just having the Try a Sample sections of Tina  Fey's Bossypants and Mindy Kaling's Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)sent to my Kindle App, I've constructed a well written and comical introductory snipet of my own book in my head. Okay, I may have written it down, but someday I may be famous and publishers will be begging me to write a book and I'll have already saved myself some time and earned myself even more money by having early submissions to the editor.

....I may have had a bit of a Shopahaulic moment there.... If you haven't read the Sophie Kinsella series, the main character, Rebecca Bloomwood, is infamous for sensationalizing small moments in her life into huge idealizations that lead to her self proclamations such as "the girl in the green scarf." This happens while she's convincing herself she needs to buy the out of budget designer scarf which will lead to everyone noticing her. I guess I just made myself "The funny girl from Minnesota who wrote a book."

I'm not even sure what kind of a book I would write. If it were the genre I read most, it would be contemporary romance. Could I write a fictional but witty story about two second-chancers that includes tawdry love scenes and still look people in the eye? I'm not sure. I do know I already have a list of crappy words I wouldn't use to describe wee-wees and hoo-has in my books.

There is always the subjectively narated romantic comedies written by Sophie Kinsella or Marian Keyes. I've noticed that these kind of books, prior to my buying all my books digitally, tend to be larger in physical size with more polished covers than the typical paperback Harlequins. Aside from the size of book, these often nix the actual explicit parts in their character's relationships. The fact that they skirt around "the juicy parts" frustrates me.  If I'm subjected to the main character's comical yet electrifying attraction and proliferation of their relationship, the least the author could do is at least tell the details of their first....joining.

This is a reason I may not be able to write romance with the juicy parts. I've already compiled a mental list of people in which I'd be embarrassed of the knowledge they are reading this. And I haven't even said clit, cunt or penis. (Now I'm sitting here editing and debating whether I should at least PG-13 this thing and take that last sentence out.)  So romances with canoodling or no canoodling, I have reservations about writing a romance. I think that makes me somewhat of a prude.

Tomorrow I will discuss Nicolas Sparks-esque romances, bundle all the other genres of fiction in which I don't read so probably couldn't write, Tina and Mindy type books and non-fiction.

I will also be doing a GIVEAWAY this week!!!!!! It's going to be a good one, too, so share and promote my blog with your friends! Here's the link to my blog if you want to share-

http://mylentvent.blogspot.com

Fieldtrip to the Jawsmith

Hi-Ho-Hi-Ho, it's to the dentist we go. Or we went this morning. The three boys had consecutive dental appointments this morning. Why, oh why did I think this was going to be a good, convenient idea???
We had to be there at 7:30 to fill out paperwork prior to the first appointment. That went off fairly seamlessly (the getting ready and getting there part.) I wasn't too happy about sending the mini-me on the bus by herself. The kids are the first ones on the bus at bright shiny 7am, so sending her off by her little own self was nerve racking. This meant we should have left right after she got on the bus. We didn't. I couldn't find my favorite travel mug for my coffee and Joey had to have a slight meltdown and debate about going back to school after the appointments. Then... I got outside and discovered that my toasty warm Suburban had in fact been started and defrosted, but the husband's diesel pickup was parked behind it. Thanks, Oldest Child who started the suburban for not noticing that.... Well, being the diligent and well trained diesel truck driver I am, I couldn't very well start the truck and move it right away. Soooo... I fired up Herbie (Herbie is the nickname of our dark blue VW Beetle) and moved him (apparently the car's a boy.) This did not fix the fact the the truck was still behind me, so I had to do the whole drive forward a bit, crank the wheel and back up, drive forward a bit, crank the wheel and back up...you get the point. Finally, we got out and to the dentist only ten minutes late. The four of us found spots in the tiny waiting room, which was really busy for 7:40 am, and started the paperwork-basic info, dental concerns, health histories, all of that. Justin was sitting next to me and supervised as well as critiqued my form completions.  Because I could get "male" and "Caucasian" wrong? I'm not sure why I needed supervision. Once we got to the health history section, I thankfully marked "no" to all of the concerns and diagnoses. Then Justin leans over and whispers, "Hey! How about you mark me down for a...speech impediment. And herpes." Um... No. But as inappropriate as it was, it made me giggle :) Joey then told me to mark Tyler down as "female" for sex and himself as "purple" under race....
Speaking of whispering, my children do not know how to whisper or what the intended purpose of whispering. They're more of stage whisperers. And even if I can get them to quietly whisper, they seem to enunciate things. Words with 's' and 'p' sounds, among others, seem to float through the air and make lots of noise in a room where everyone else's kids are playing on their tablets and phones. And unfortunately, I have a laugh that resounds as well and they definitely had me laughing. So I guess this means we were the loud family in the office this morning. No gadgets and headphones to quietly pass the time for this family. It's exhausting when it was all over, but leaves a smile on my face regardless :)
In case you were wondering, we opened a can of worms with these appointments that will lead to many more waiting room antics. Justin has 4 cavities and needs sealants. Tyler told me he has "gum-itis" and needs two fillings along with extensive orthodontic work. Joey got lucky with two cavities. I say lucky because ashamidly, it's been a while since they've been to the dentist. Busy lives and all that...
So now that we've endured mild entertainment and received parting gifts of toothpaste, toothbrushes and floss, we're good until the end of the month when we will return once more, en masse