On this day, Travis VanFartstinkle was born....

So I have this friend, Anne. We are typically too busy to spend time together in real life, but I love the ever loving stuffing out of this girl. Together we can act like 15 year olds, be completely vulgar (forewarning, there is A LOT of profanity in this post. If this disturbs you, probably you shouldn't read this blog. At the same time, I've saved you from any of our shark week or saggy booby conversations-this time...) and we can vent to one another when the world is getting us down (that stuff's private, you can't see that...) and we just have FUN texting back and forth. Today is Anne's birthday. So for her birthday, I made this itty bitty portion of Best of's. 

HaPpY BiRtHDaY, AnNiE-BaNaNnY! 

This is how it all started. Paul was in the hospital for the second month in a row and Anne was trying to cheer me up. 

After a long series of super cheesy, mainly animal based texts we have this:

So basically, we find jokes or things that we find funny and we send them to one another. 

We love 'achotha. We really do. 

We discuss our children: 

(Ty wouldn't like Tuesdays, either.) 

Sometimes, we have long conversations, like this one: 

We will be the best old ladies around. 

But as you can see, from our laundry conversation, we're homemakers as well. Who love Pinterest

But aren't exactly all around Pinterest Moms. 

We get philosophical sometimes: 

On why our ovaries should just *know* we're done having kids so they should just quit expelling eggs:

Back to kids. And Dogs. 

And Husbands: 

 

We also think we're pretty awesome and should be famous

We also discuss current events: 

More philosophy: 

And we usually make it back to the topic of laundry: 

More Pinterest: 

 

And finally: 

Hope you've laughed along with us! There is so much more... And so much worse.... 

My Lot in Life

Day 16, Thursday: Something difficult about your “lot in life” and how you’re working to overcome it

I was diagnosed with Type I or Juvenile Diabetes at age 12. I've been taking insulin shots 2-4 times a day since. I've gone through my adolescence, young adult and pregnancies dealing with changing blood sugars and insulin amounts. With each pregnancy, I found it harder to manage and more dangerous for myself and my babies. I remember on my wedding day, not only was it crazy hot outside, but my blood sugar was really high and it made it hard to completely enjoy myself.

For the most part, my diabetes is controlled. There is a test called the A1C that essentially give you a picture of how your blood sugars have done over the past few months and mine is typically on the higher side of normal (I'm not sure why they call "7" normal if your doctor yells at you for being "7".) On a daily basis, I can go through the day and do activities and eat like everyone else without dipping too low or astronomically high.

I guess I deal with it all the way I always have; the best I can. If well I'm fifty or sixty and I start feeling the detrimental side effects of my long standing diabetes, so be it. All I can do it continue to live life and manage my diabetes as best I can!

A list of Happiness

Day 14, Tuesday: Ten things that make you really happy

In no particular order:

Looking out my windows and only seeing countryside.

Having a huge todo list and not only checking everything off, but adding things as the day goes and checking those things off too.

Me time with no "where are you" or "when are you going to be home" calls.

Being with Paul for 16 years and still feeling tingly when he brushes my arm or holds my hand.

When people tell me how well behaved and respectful my kids are.

Having nice, long talks with my Father-in-Law, Tom.

Facebook makes me happy because a lot of times it's my only chance for social time.

Good food.

Working outside makes me happier than working inside.

Deeply discounted sales. I don't care if it's a can of Campbell's Cream of Chicken soup for forty nine cents or a tank top for 90% off, I feel accomplished and happy.

Apology

Day 13, Monday: Issue a public apology. This can be as funny or as serious or as creative as you want it to be.

I'm sorry I don't make more time to spend with my brother, sisters mom and dad. I really should schedule or spontaneously visit and call them. Love you all so much!

Missing You

Day 12, Sunday: What do you miss? (a person, a thing, a place, a time of your life…)

I miss Betty. She was my mother-in-law who passed away three years ago in August.

Our lives have changed so much since her passing. I truly believe, whether this seems right or not to say, that God chose "her time" correctly. It was His grace that showed mercy on her. She lived over 20 years with paralyzingly effects of a stroke at the young age of 48 and as much as she overcame her disabilities (this woman could peel and apple or potato one handed like you wouldn't believe) her body could no longer sustain its demands. I'm not sure how well she could have emotionally handled Paul's cancer. She was a worrier by nature and to know that her youngest of nine kids, the one who was there to see her day in and day out, was sick would have been devastating to her.

I take comfort in the fact that she doesn't worry about Paul since she has the knowledge in Heaven to know our ultimate plan. I smile knowing she is walking again, running if she so chooses. She's got endless garage sales to attend with the best deals, countless babies to cuddle and coo at, family that have gone before to talk and reminisce with and she gets to eat all the fast food she wants without consequence.
I hope anyone else who is reading this right now and missing Betty can smile knowing these things are true.

Selling Myself

Day 11, Saturday: Sell yourself in 10 words or less

If you are in need, I will pray for you

Soooo Embarrassing!

Day 10, Friday: Most embarrassing moment (s). Spill.

My Life's most embrassing moments have probably occurred and the Water Reclamation Plant while emptying my outhouse truck. Seriously, if I were video taped, they'd probably make a blooper reel and play at their annual Christmas party. Try as I may, sometimes the hoses and the outlets don't line up together and something or someone (me) gets poopy (again, me. I get poopy.) And sometimes, I end up throwing a bit of a hissy fit. This may or may not include swearing at inanimate objects and beating things with a hammer.

I'm thinking I should start charging for ride alongs so others can witness these not so stellar moments....

Moment

Day 9, Thursday: A moment in your day (this can be just a photo or both a photo and words)

My 'take' from garage saling today. $140 spent and a second row plus cargo area full of stuff. Had it not been raining, the third row of the suburban probably would have been filled as well!

Free Advice! (To anyone willing to listen...)

Day 8, Wednesday: A piece of advice you have for others. Anything at all.

I've driven past a church that had a quote on it's marquee a few times and it said something to the effect of:

"A happy marriage is the effect of two good forgivers"

I'm not sure if these were the exact words, but this is a quote I found by Robert Quillen while searching for the phrase. When I read the church sign, I started thinking about how true it is. I definitely think a successful and long lasting marriage is made of two forgivers. Marriage, like life, cannot always be happy. There's ups and downs and the hopefully you realize the downs just make the ups seem better. Or at least they should make you more appreciative of them.

Along with that, we are all human. We make mistakes. A lot of times we hurt those closest to us. Whether it's because we take them for granted or they're convenient or we feel as if we don't have to put on airs in front them but we do others, the bottom line is sometimes we're not nice to the people who are around us most often.

The very people we have chosen as our life's mate.

So we forgive. And that is my advice. Be quick to forgive your husband or wife.

I got Paul the "Chief" CD by Eric Church last summer so we could listen to it on the motorcycle and his favorite song quickly became "She Loves Me Like Jesus Does" I cherish those memories. The meaning of the song, that we can both forgive each other and love one another to the point of sacrifice, is a powerful thing.

My favorite line in the song is-

She carries me when my sins make me heavy.

It reminds me of what Paul and I have done for one another over the 16 years we've been together. Haven't we all been burdened by our mistakes? Isn't it nice to have someone carry some of that load?
So work together, say "I'm sorry" more and when you say "I forgive you,"  mean it.

If you're not familiar with the song, here is the link to the beautiful rendition Eric Church did on the ACM's this year:

Desktop Link Eric Church-She Loves Me Like Jesus Does
Mobile  Link  Eric Church- She Loves Me Like Jesus Does

Fears

Day 7, Tuesday: The thing(s) you’re most afraid of

I'm not sure I have "a fear." If you asked me what my husband's are and I can instantly tell you spiders and snakes. I am, in fact, the spider killer in our house. And snakes are also not an issue for me.

I don't like scary movies. I'm not sure it's the content so much as it is the emotions scary movies evoke. I don't feel as if my adrenaline needs to be increased over a fictional situation.

My biggest fear, now that I'm actually thinking about it, is that "I'm doing it wrong" when it comes to parenting. At their very core as well as outwardly to those around them, I know my kids are good people. But for some reason, I fell like I'm screwing them up in some way. Like I should be complimenting them a little more, swearing a little less (admittedly, I do, I swear a lot), or "teaching" them things.

I just want my kids to be honest, successful, kind and happy.

What do you do?

Day 6, Monday: If you couldn’t answer with your job, how would you answer the question, ‘what do you do’?

What do I do....

Well, for starters, I was too busy to write this blog yesterday.

Here is what my day consisted of:

Wake up at 5:55
Make coffee
Wake Ella up
Go to Justin and Tyler's bedroom wake them up
Wake Ella up again
Mediate bathroom time
Wake Joey up
Tell Joey to be quiet because Dad's still sleeping
Clean up milk spills, dishes and cereal
Text KTTC for Wake up and Win *only* when they are giving away lottery tickets
Start laundry
Send the kids off to the bus
Eat my own breakfast
Watch a little TV, catch up on Facebook, check out Pinterest
Get Paul his breakfast (he will seriously not remember to eat if I don't remind him)
Pick up a couple outhouses from a weekend delivery
Hmmm... It is now 9am...
Dust the house
Scrub down the kitchen
Sweep and mop the floor
Fold Laundry
Go to Stewie with Paul to get pop
Go to the basement and start cleaning
Decide basement is too messy to clean
Wash outhouse towels
Fold more laundry
Go get the lawn mower and golf cart out of storage
Put the fishing boat and motorcycle out by the highway for sale
Eat lunch
Go back to Stewie with Paul to get For Sale signs for those items
List items on Craigslist
Start a fire in the backyard
Fold more laundry
Clean bathroom floor
Attend to fire
Burn lots of things. For hours.
Move 'the big pile' of scrap wood and rake under it
Let Ella read me country music lyrics off my phone for Action 100 while in front of the fire for half an hour
Take shower(fire duty is icky)
Make supper
Help Tyler with homework
Get the kids to pick up their shoes, socks, book bags, etc
Watch some TV
Go to bed

Yup, this sounds about like a typical day. So, that's what I do.

Bloggers

Day 5, Sunday: Publicly profess your love and devotion for one of your blogger friends. What makes them great? Why do you love them? If you don’t have blogger friends, talk about a real-life friend or even a family member.

Well... I don't really follow or read blogs on a daily basis.

Unless you consider Pinterest as a hoarder of blogs which is kinda the same as a blog?

I visit Pinterest Daily.

There are a few of my friends who have a blog in which I try to read regularly.

There's my friend, Amber, whom I was just acquaintances in high school but now Facebook with on a regular basis. Her blog is fun. http://pinupatheart.wordpress.com/ I find her smart, funny, and living the kind of life I wanted when I was growing up-Living in the Cities, getting dressed up and going to parties and just living a cool urban life. I love to read and see pictures of "the flip side" of how I live now :)

And then there's another high school acquaintance who has a parenting blog that I love to read. http://life-according-to-leah.blogspot.com/ She started it while her and her husband were in the process of adopting from overseas. As it happens, on top of receiving their blessing, they found out they were having one naturally as well!

My dirty little secret blog is http://starcasm.net/ I occasionally check it out to get the dish on celebrities.

An author I have read, has kept an almost daily blog since 2005. She's funny and her blogs are pretty short, so I like to pop over to her site to see what she's got cookin' http://shannonstacey.com

My sister has a blog! Yeah! I like to read it when she actually writes something! :)
http://whathappensinmyheadandhome.blogspot.com/

Happy Sunday!

Favorite Quote

Day 4, Saturday: Favorite Quote and why you love it

 

 

 

 

 

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered; Forgive them anyway.

 

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.

 

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway.

 

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.

 

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway.

 

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway.

 

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.

 

 Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway.

 

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God; It was never between you and them anyway.

 

- Blessed Mother Teresa

 

I love this because in its simplest form, people can be mean. You don't have to be one of those people and in the end, God is who we ultimately answer to and serve.

 

I also think happiness and kindness are infectious. So many people are easily swayed in attitude and personality, so why not put a positive spin on it?

Awkward!

Day 3, Friday: Things that make you uncomfortable.

Bras. Bras make me uncomfortable.

Girls who don't wear bras in public. Leash them puppies up, will ya?

Close talkers. I'm not sure why they need to stand in my personal space? But I don't need to smell your breakfast.

The pants I wore today. They make me uncomfortable. Actually, they fit well. They fit perfect when they were brand new. HOWEVER, they shrunk in length when I washed them and I didn't relize the severity of their shrinkage until I was sitting at the funeral I was attending and they rode half way up my stripper boots.

The fact that Paul calls my very cute tall black boots stripper boots in public.

Not really actually for sure knowing the balance of my checking account when I'm about to swipe my debit card after checking out a cart piled with groceries.

Derogatory comments made by people who have no life experience with the people in which they are referring to.

My contacts make me uncomfortable. I don't think they measured my eye correctly....

Girls who have what I call Bitch Switches. Like, you're all in public and talking to people and all of the sudden the girl next to you flips her Bitch Switch and starts chewing someone out. Calm the hell down and take your meds, girl.


That is all. Thank you all for reading!

Stuff I know...

Day 2, Thursday: Educate us on something you know a lot about or are good at. Take any approach you’d like (serious and educational or funny and sarcastic)

Stuff I know...


I know how to take care of a turtle. I can't remember how my children acquired Wally, but they got a painted turtle when he was the size of a quarter and he grew to  have a shell span of about 6 inches in the two years we had him.

Wally, the Turtle

 

I did a really good job of keeping that turtle alive! Until the day I was cleaning his cage and the dogs ate him. Yes, I said ate :( So maybe we should scratch this whole subject.... Keeping dogs away from turtles is a vital part of their livelihood.... Other than that, if you ever find yourself a proud owner of a pet turtle, talk to me. I can teach you things.

 

 

 

I know how to fold a fitted sheet well. How do I know that? My very first job was in the laundry department at a nursing home.... Also? I only worked weekends and often went out the nights prior, so I know I have a rock solid stomach that can handle just.... about.... anything......

 

 

I'm good at garage saling. I used to take Paul's mom, who was wheelchair bound post stroke plus Joey and Ella when they were both less than three years old. In less than 5 hours, we could hit two different parts of town, load and unload the wheelchair and the kids in carseats, fill up the van with goodies, spend less than $50 and have lunch. We were the power team of misfit garage salers.

 

We're not exactly garage saling here, but this is my power team. And the four of us were out hitting the sales the day after this picture was taken.

 

 

I know I can make people laugh.

 

 This is an example of a text message between myself and my friend Anne, formally known as Annie-Banannie, now Travis VanFartstinkle. Only because she entered me into her phone as Rusty McFuzzlebutt.

 

 

And in turn, I sent her this:

 

My washer did not, as it turns out, want a hooker. It was broken. I called for service instead of calling a call service. Anne's dryer remains temperamental to this day.

I know there is always, alwAYS, ALWAYS something to be thankful for. Even when Paul has been stuck in the hospital for over a week and we were told he could go home two days ago, I have been able to find positives. I just think finding positive things in bad situations is a key to getting through life.

I know sometimes you have to be someone else's light. I try really hard to give a random compliment or share a memory or even give a little pep talk to a different person everyday. Sometimes turning someone's outlook around maybe for a little bit means a lot.

I know here are too may negative people in this world.

I know it takes all kinds to make this world go 'round. That person who treated you as if you were scum between their toes? Well, I hope it reminds you to be nicer to the person you think you're better than. That weird guy who talks to you in the grocery store line or laughs at things that are random or completely dumb? Well, they're probably generally happier than you. Think about it, the simpler an person thinks, the less complicated their life probably is....

I hope I'm good at encouraging people to look towards God in times of trouble. His word calms me and strengthens me. We are His glorious creation, so be grateful for the big and little things He has given us. Ultimately, though we may not achieve or have what we think we should in this life, He will provide in our everlasting life. Until that fateful day, live this day with Godliness and happiness!