Duck Dynasty Robertson Family Reveals Part II

I hope you found my post from Monday about Duck Dynasty and the Robertson family fun and informative. If you weren't able to see all the pictures your first time through, check again. I fixed a few that weren't available on the mobile site, so you should be able to get the full effect now!

So what more is there to say about these guys? Lots! Here is some more things you may not know:

 Phil Robertson does not own a cell phone or computer. I repeat, NO CELL PHONE or COMPUTER!

There are three things Si Robertson claims he never goes anywhere without: A jug of iced tea, his blue cup and his Bible.

Here's an interesting thing about Si's cup, which may as well be a character on the show, his mama sent it to him while he was fighting in the Vietnam War. He's had it ever since. Let's all give a big collective "Awwwww!" That is truly sweet.

Here's a picture of beardless Si from his military days:

Would you like to see more beardless Robertsons? Okay!

Si, Willie and Jace

Alan, Jace, Willie and Jep

Jase, Jep and Willie

Jase, Alan, Willie and Jep

Jep's Senior Picture

Sooo, seems Jep has a bit of the Roberston handsome gene as well. Them beards sure do hide some pretty faces!

Although we see a little more of Jep this season, it seems he is more of a behind the scenes guy. He is responsible for most of the taping and editing of Duck Commander Videos.  

Here is a picture of Jep and Jessica during a wedding photo shoot. Jessica was modeling the hair piece and they asked Jep to join in the shoot!

A very retro-chic, Country Music Video look!

Ever wonder where Duck Commander Headquarters and the Robertson live?

Why, the answer would be Monroe and West Monroe, Louisiana

Duck Dynasty was the most mentioned television show on Facebook in 2012. That is A LOT of mentions considering how many shows are out there.

Duck Dynasty is the top rated reality television show on right now, topping American Idol and Survivor.

The hand crafted reeds (That's Si's job, making reeds) are made from Louisiana Cedar Trees:

Each call is handmade at Duck Commander. They are also tested and tuned (Jase does that.) Each and every one!

In case you don't know what a duck call looks like.

Out of all the things I've dug up and discovered, I found an article from 2009 in The Christian Chronicle the most fascinating. The article talked about Phil Robertson's life and road to faith. Click here to read the full story. It's really worth your time.

And now I shall close another addition of Robertson Family Reveals with my favorite Si quote. It cracks my up. Every. Single. Time.

Here's links to my other Robertson Family Reveals! 

Part I  Part III Part IV







Planning Easter

I've invited my family for Easter dinner at my house. We've done this for quite a few years then end up out in the yard so the kids can have an Easter egg hunt. My brother, TJ, hides the eggs while the rest of us adults stand around and talk. TJ is also the yearly gift hander-outer on Christmas morning. Why does he get the honors? Because he's the youngest and we make him. In case you were wondering, I have two sisters and TJ plus a mom and dad who are all original. No step-peoples in this clan. That starts the attendance at 6 people, add our three husbands and brother's girlfriend and that ups the ante to 10. Plus my parent's grandkids which sits at eight right now. That means I currently posses four of their sum total of grandkids(go meeeee!) That's 18 people in my house. That's nothing. Paul's family sits at 64, if everyone attended, with an average of 48 people showing up at any given holiday.

So how do the Ellsworth's do when planning for a get together? These are our exact emails from this afternoon, in order:

From: Jaime Putzier
Sent: Tuesday, March 26, 2013 1:48 PM
To: Family
Subject: Easter

So lets make a plan…

Sarah said lets shoot for 1:00pm…(Sarah is that to arrive or eat??)

She is also making Ham so the rest is up to us

Sooo…who is making what?????

From: Jaime Putzier
Sent: 26 Mar 2013 19:01:16 GMT
To: Family
Subject: FW: Easter

Bueller……………………..Bueller………………………

Sarah's Editorial Note: You see, this is what we say when we receive no response to a request via email or text message from another Ellsworth. You get roll called by the drone-sounding teacher from Ferris Bueller's Day Off

From: T.J. Ellsworth 
Sent: Tuesday, March 26, 2013 2:04 PM
To: Family
Subject: RE: FW: Easter

I'll bring pie and buns.

From: Jaime Putzier
Sent: Tuesday, March 26, 2013 2:06 PM
To: Family
Subject: RE: FW: Easter

Sounds good!

So we have

Ham

Pie

Buns

From: Melissa Zamzow

Sent: Tuesday, March 26, 2013 2:12 PM
To: Family
Subject: RE: FW: Easter

I can do potatoes, Jaime if you want to buy ingredients for corn I can make that too…for you…Paul said you can’t make ANYTHING  with garlic…and if you do make something else besides the corn, you need to spend the extra 30 cents on name brand stuff…that is all that he has requested ;)

From: Jaime Putzier

Sent: Tuesday, March 26, 2013 2:16 PM
To: Family
Subject: RE: FW: Easter

Yeah I can do that and I was thinking a fruit pizza…I seen it on Facebook and it looked SUPER yummy…and garlic free J

P.S. My green bean casserole at Thanksgiving was all generic…and no one even noticed ;)

From: Melissa Zamzow
Sent: Tuesday, March 26, 2013 2:20 PM
To: Family
Subject: RE: FW: Easter

Mmm that sounds yummy!  You could just do that and I will do corn and potatoes

Ps…he noticed

Ha ha ha just giving you crap

From: Jaime Putzier

Sent: Tuesday, March 26, 2013 2:23 PM
To: Family
Subject: RE: FW: Easter

It looked yummy and I don’t even like fruit that much but I will do that then J Maybe something else fun.

Ps….no he didn’t

Ha ha ha I know

 

From: Sarah Sexton
Sent: Tuesday, March 26, 2013 3:15 PM
To: Family
Subject: Re: Easter

I will also supply plates, napkins, silverware. Lemonade for the kids and an appetizer. 

PS One of the downtown restaurants burned something last week and the whole street smelled like garlic. Tyler asked if Jaime was cooking something..... 

PPS We had a whole conversation about what is okay for generic and what has to be name brand because of the green bean casserole last Thanksgiving.... 

PostPostPostScript Show up at One. We'll eat when we feel like it.

From: Jaime Putzier

Sent: Tuesday, March 26, 2013 3:23 PM
To: Family
Subject: RE: FW: Easter

I’ll bring a 12-pack of Diet Dew also so we aren’t all drinking yours…pretty much since a lot of it gets drank….drunk…..whatever

 

PS Ha…..ha…..HA : / my not laughing face. Tell Tyler very funny ;)

 

PSS I thought it was wonderful!! (I don’t even like it) But Paul specifically (and I actually remember this) said good thing nothing in here is generic or Jaime would be taking the whole pan of it home..I agreed with him, good thing ;)

PPPPS….ok

And I'm guessing we will receive an email from our dad this evening saying "Ma said she'll bring meat, cheese, crackers. deviled eggs and pickle wraps" only with as few letters Dad has to type while still getting his message across. Dad isn't much of a typer. He's somewhat computer literate, but is still a hunter and a pecker when it comes to a keyboard.

I pray you all have a good church to attend to celebrate Jesus' rising after his death and you feel as blessed to have family surrounding you as I have. God Bless!

Duck Dynasty's Robertson Family Reveals

Duck Dynasty... If you haven't seen the show, you're either what the cast calls a "yuppie" or you don't have cable television. I just don't know what your excuse would be not to watch beyond those two reasons. Although I find some of the situations and scenerios a bit set up for entertainment purposes, (I noticed there were leaves on the trees in the 2012 Christmas Special. Now I'm not totally apprised of the North Eastern Louisiana winters, but I would imagine that their trees are deciduous down there-that means their leaves fall off in the fall) it is just good, family fun. In a world where we are constantly questioning what's appropriate for our children's eyes and ears, there is no worry while watching Duck Dynasty.

This is how much our family loves these people:

Tyler was Si for Halloween

Our Elf on the Shelf, Cutie Pie,

dressed as Phil. The kids were ecstatic.

So, how much do you know about the Robertson family? To tell you the truth there isn't a whole lot out there. I found some of my info from the Meet the Family link on aetv.com or from Duck Commander itself.

Here are a few things you may or may not know about the Robertson Clan:

Phil Robertson was a star college football player at Louisiana Tech, starting ahead of NFL Hall of Famer,Terry Bradshaw. Phil was actually drafted to the NFL after his Junior year, but declined offers because football season not only interfered with duck season, but didn't want to spend his years being chased and tackled by "large, violent men." Here is a picture of a younger and very hansome Phil:

Phil and Si's brother, James, has written a biography of Phil's life.

Phil and Miss Kay, whose actual name is Marsha Kay, were married in 1966 when Miss Kay was just 16 years old. Phil was 20.

THERE'S ANOTHER BROTHER! Yes, Jace, Willie, and Jep have an older brother named Alan. He works at Duck Commander part time, but is also a pastor at the White Ferry Road Church, where all the Robertsons attend regularly.

Can you guess which one is Alan in this picture?

Yup, the Under Armour-clad non beard sporting gentleman is Miss Kay and Phil Robertson's oldest son. Looking at this next picture, I would say he will be featured in episodes maybe next season? Alan is on the far left, sporting a starter beard maybe?

Willie, oh how you would have stolen my heart in your youngin' years:

You can see where Willie and Korie's kids get their good looks.

Willie and Korie have five kids as seen below. Sadie, Lil Will (adopted son recently seen on the show) Bella, foster daughter, Rebecca, whom they originally hosted as an exchange student and John Luke

What drives the Robertsons such a close-knit family? This is easily answered. Their Faith. Although the producers of the show edit many of these parts out, the stars of Duck Dyansty live with a strong Faith and often make mention of God in their everyday life. It's said to be a bit of a downfall to the Robertsons that so much of that is cut out from their commentary. In my opinion, even though you didn't ask, I would love if there was more mention of their faith shown.

SI HAS A WIFE! Yes, her name is Christine and it isn't easy at all to find a picture of her! I found a quote from Si regarding his life's love, Christine, and I wish I would have bookmarked it because it was incredibly sweet. But here's the big reveal:

Okay, it's not a big reveal, since the picture is tiny, but it's what I've got. It came from Jessica, Jep's wife (as seen on left), Twitter page. But if you were as curious as I was as to Si's wife's appearance, there you have it.

I have lots more Robertson Family knowledge to share, but you will have to read my blog later this week! Happy Monday, Jack!

Here are links to more Reveals!

 

 

Part II Part III Part IV

Little Known Facts

As I've mentioned before, I love trivia. I love to hoard facts that may never be of any use to my life. Regardless, here are some random things you may not know:

1. Jennifer Grey (Baby from "Dirty Dancing") played Mindy on Friends. Didn't recognize her? She had a nose job that was said to be a career ending move on her part.

2. When 26-year-old Eddie Gaedel suited up for the St. Louis Browns on August 19, 1951, and had an official at-bat, he became the shortest player in Major League Baseball history, standing 3 feet, 7 inches tall and weighing 65 pounds. Gaedel wore No. 1/8 on his jersey and was walked on four straight pitches --all of them high-- in his only plate appearance.
The tallest player in MLB history is current Miami Marlins pitcher Jon Rauch, who stands at 6-foot-11 --or just a shade under two Gaedels tall.

3. Driest Place on Earth is tha Atacama Desert in Northern Chile, this place has only had one recorded rainfall in the last 400 years. The Atlantic Ocean actually borders this desert.

4. Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%
Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

5. A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

6. Coca Cola was originally green.

7. The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days of old when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.

8. The airplane Buddy Holly died in was the "American Pie." (Thus the name of the Don McLean song.) Richie Vallens and The Big Bopper also died in this crash after a shoe at the Clear Lake Ballroom in Clear Lake, IA.

9. Tricycles were originally made by a man named Herbert McFinnial. He had vertigo, and couldn't ride a proper bicycle.

10. "I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

11. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from and old English law
which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

12. The first toilet ever seen on television was on "Leave It To Beaver".

13. Every person has a unique tongue print.

14. Henry Ford named Lincoln Motor Company after Abraham Lincoln, whom Ford had a fascination with.

15. Marilyn Monroe had a twin brother named Marty. He was a cross dresser.

16. One of the ingredients in Meth is "Lye" or sodium hydroxide. Lye is one of the main chemicals in drain cleaner. It’s also used by ranchers and city workers who must dispose of road kill and dead bodies by dissolving them. Carcasses are placed in a sealed chamber with sodium hydroxide and water, turning the body into a coffee-like liquid. Serial killers are also know to use this method.

17. A sneeze can exceed the speed of 100 mph.

18. All penguins are born male. At two months, the ones that are genetically female lose their male sex organs.

Did you learn anything? Pretty interesting little factoids here, huh? Well, unless you read numbers 9, 15, and 18. My friend, Anne, made those up for me. They're totally fake.

People I Want to Slap in the Face

'Happy little theme for this Friday, isn't it? There are just certain people, whom I don't know and have never met, whose public personas just get to me. So here are a few people that need to be slapped:

  Esther from Amish Mafia-
Ooh, I want to hit her so bad! If you've never seen the show, congratulations. You're brain cells have not been forced to commit suicide in a desperate attempt to not have to process what your eyes and ears are consuming. The premise of the show is there is a group of Amish/Mennonite people in Lancaster, Pennsylvania that enforce rules when the church and community can't or won't. I just don't buy it. For people supposedly living a simplistic life to please God, they sure have a buggy-load of issues. (See what I did there? Instead of boat-load, I said buggy-load.)
Esther, the only female "character" on this "reality" show seems to be the root of mostly everyone's problems. She sings the praises of these "badass" guys and stirs up trouble when there doesn't seem to be any. I think she works out her mouth more than she works the fields, so I'm pretty sure I could take her. Esther, you deserve a slap in the face.

        Taylor Swift-
 Oh, I know... Everyone picks on poor little Taylor Swift :( And all the boys chase her with around the playground with frogs and pull her piggytails :( I really do think she is a talented songwriter, but I'm getting sick of songs about tainted love and shouldbe fairy tails. Love is just plain hard sometimes, sweetpea. So with every new song about heartbreak, Taylor Swift, I want to slap you in the face. And stop wearing too bright lipstick and grandma clothes.


   
Restaurant Chains who Sell Bad Coffee- I know you have taste testers and perform market research before introducing new products, Restaurant Chains, so what's up with the crappy coffee? Do you pick three pack a day smokers and people with ageusia and/or anosmia for your panels? Those are people can't smell or taste, in case you didn't want to crack out your medical dictionaries. Some of us coffee addicts can drink hotel room or gas station coffee and be okay with it as long as it resembles a dark brown liquid and provides our caffeine. But there are some places with coffee so atrocious it is pretty much undrinkable. Burger King, for example, you deserve one giant slap in the face.

Well, I do believe I have spread enough merriment and angst for the morning, so I will take some deep cleansing breathes and move on with my day. I hope yours is wonderful!

Product Reviews

We all use things everyday (obviously.) So what makes things good, bad, easier, frustrating, the list goes on and on. So what are things you feel you should mention to others? Here's a few of mine. (Thank you, my sister Melissa, for suggesting I review mascara, gum and jeans. Because that is what she was thinking about at the moment.)

Duracell iPhone Car Charger
A while back, I had to buy a car phone charger from a gas station. The scene was this:
I have my husband's F-250 diesel pickup and a twelve foot trailer with a ramp. I'm in SW Rochester, looking for the home in which a purchased a couch (I say couch, not sofa) and loveseat. My phone goes dead. Address to Furniture Dude's house is on said phone. I'm in the commune of town homes which has hard to navigate turnarounds. Remember, I'm driving a big truck with a trailer attached. With a sigh of frustration, I leave the whole neighborhood enroute to the the nearest gas station. Sixteen dollars and ninety-nine cents later, I have a car phone charger in my possession. It's Duracell brand, so surely it will be a trusty one. End Scene-
Duracell should stick to making batteries and leave the charging sector up to a company that knows what their doing. Ho-Lee Mutha. Using this device is like putting a car charger on trickle charge when you should have been to work 15 minutes ago. Seriously, it will only increase my battery percentage 10% in a half hour. That's a whole waking day to fully charge a completely dead cell phone battery. Why I still have it in my vehicle, I don't know.

Nike socks
My son, Justin, has ginormous feet. Not only are they a size 16 Wide, but they are like Fred Flinstone feet. Justin has very little taper from calf to his heels. Anyway, since Justin probably wouldn't want me to continue listing with overly inflated physical attributes, I'll get on with my point- it's hard to find socks. And kind of socks stocked at Walmart do not work for Justin. They stretch out never to look like a foot shaped article of clothing again. Last Fall, I bought some Nike socks for Justin from Famous Footwear and it solved our problem. Justin no longer had to roll and pry socks on like pantyhose and the socks remained foot looking after he look them off. Good job, Nike.

Amazon
Oh, how I love Amazon. Not only do they wirelessly and paperlessly provide me all my books, but there are no promo codes or coupons to receive savings on books. Sure, not all authors are available for discounts at the same time, but I'd pay a lot more if they were offered on a promo code basis. Plus, not only do they sell books, they sell everything. Almost everything, anyway. Gone are the days I bid on items on eBay. I'm not so much of a wait four days to save 2 bucks. Even when I do use eBay, I click on the Buy it Now tab and get it that way. However, I find that I prefer Amazon to buy stuff now. Typically, Amazon sellers are actually established businesses vs individual sellers. This makes returns on items SO much easier. Amazon also has good customer service, which is hard, hard, hard to find these days with corporations. Shipping doesn't seem to vary so much with Amazon as it does with eBay.

Windows 8
I don't like it. It's crap. Revert to an older operating system should you have to buy a new computer.

My Love/Hate Relationship with Laundry

I've had a long standing bad relationship with laundry. It's not particularly my favorite thing do do in the first place, but there are a few things that can enhance the experience.

I highly recommend Apple Mango Tango Gain. It seriously is like the Gain commercial where everyone follows the guy and sniffs his shirt all day. At least for me. I have actually uttered the words, "Hey! You've *got* to come smell my sock. It's amaaaaaazzzzing." THAT's how good it smells. It comes in both detergent and liquid fabric softener.

Now a little on my history with laundry. Used to be, I had piles and piLES and PILES of laundry. Then I started getting rid of unnecessary clothing. I'm telling you, unless you are incredibly anal and you have birthed and raised incredibly anal children, have "nice" clothes and "play" clothes is a pipe dream. And unless you have a special place for all those shirts you think they *should* wear but they just end up on the floor and subsequently into the laundry, I say just get rid of them. I did. It's freeing.

Next, I have to tell you about my incredibly bad luck with appliances of the garment lavation persuasion. I've had 4 washing machines and 2 dryers in the past 10 years. Of that time, these appliances have probably run... eight and a half of those years? That's a lot of time taking laundry for six to the laundromat as the sets have waived in and out of various stages of disrepair.

Then.... I decided to bite the bullet and buy a brand new set. It cost me an entire season of an outhouse account to buy, but I did it. And oh did my brand-newbie front load set look so pretty stacked up in their corner of the bathroom! I was on top of the world. They are extra jumbo hugeungous capacity, have a gazillion different settings and combinations to scrub the clothes, the washer and dryer both have allergy and steam settings...Yes, that's right, my dryer has a water line and a steam setting. It came with a rack that stops the spinning so you can steam clean and sanitize pillows, stuffed animals, etc-in the dryer! Pure Awesomeness.

On to the hater portion-
Front loads are notorious for building a mildew smell over time. My washer actually asks me if I want to wash my washer after 30 or so loads. Yes, you have to wash your washing machine. And leave the door open when not in use. I do not like open doors.
Another thing I did not realize until talking with my friend yesterday, is front loads swirl your jeans around when they wash and dry them, leaving deep creases in funny places. I just thought everyone in the family mangled there jeans while they took them off. I super hate looking down at my jeans and seeing a diagonal crease from the hem to the knee of one pant leg. I have to bend down and attempt to smooth out the crease. It's the laundry's fault!

Just because I feel like a big Debbie Downer bitching about my laundry so much, another positive is they make really cute laundry decorations if are lucky enough to have a laundry room
;)

What makes Spanky so Stupid

You have to realize, if you've never heard me talk about my dog, Wait! No. Not my dog, not my dog, not my dog.
If you've ever heard my talk about my husband's Basset Hound, you'll hear the disdain in my voice. Spanky comes out a lot like Seinfeld would say, "Newman....."

                                                     This is "Spanky........."

I even researched the dumb thing before we went to get him. The breed standard states that they are stubborn and strong willed, especially when following a scent of something. They often overeat and a few articles I read said they do not posses the thing in their brain that tells them to stop eating. Ella once wrote a first grade research paper about Bassets and she simply wrote, They don't have a thing in their brain so you have to take their food away. I think she got it right. Not a thing in their brain.... This dog don't know simple commands, he don't always know the difference between outside and inside, he don't know what shut up, go away, come here, get off the kitchen table....   

                                            
                                              You really want to eat at my house now, huh?

This dog eats carrots, peppers, socks, Barbies, dollar bills, packaged dry oatmeal, deodorant, blankets, any kind of garbage that may or may not smell like gravy, raw potatoes, pretty much if it has mass and is defined as matter, Spanky will eat it.

                                      
                                        Zane Doll from One Direction, you sig annoying
                                                       boy band songs no more.

The research also says they're loyal to their owners. Problem here. Spanky thinks he's mine and Ella's... He follows Ella everywhere and he insists I pay all my attention to solely him first thing in the morning and each time I come home from anywhere, even if it's from the mailbox. Five minutes and the dog acts like I was never coming back.

                                                       Sarah's chair. Not Spanky's.
          
He likes to play head games, too. He's like the annoying little brother. The second before you lower your butt into a chair that Spanky clearly saw you head for, he jumps up and curls himself into a comfy little Basset ball. He pretends to sleep when you call his name. You know he's listening because the tops of his long ears perk up and he twitches his nose all the while keeping his eyes shut and not moving a muscle.

                                            
                                                I had just lifted up his ear and screamed in it.

I'm sure he'd be extremely emasculated if he knew I was telling y'all this, but sometimes when he lifts his dwarf like fat leg to pee, he loses his balance, falls over and pees on himself.

                                                        I only wish I had a picture of him doing that,

Despite all the bitching I do about the squat little chap, he's provided our family with more laughs than frustrated moments, so for as many times as I say I'm shipping him to the place in H-E-double hockey sticks, I guess we'll let him stick around.

 

Thoughts of Grandeur

Note: Tomorrow I promise I will write about something other than reading books and writing. I fact, I will be writing the runner up entry from my last Giveaway. Joey S. from Stewartville, MN (Yes, my son, Joey) submitted the topic "What makes Spanky so stupid." But for now, this is what was on my mind today-

I've started to craft a story. I'm just not sure if it's going to be something I'll ever finish. If you know me well enough, you know I tend to hop into a project with best laid intentions and thoughts of grandeur. Then I get bored, get lazy, work myself into a point where I need assistance and the result is a half done messy looking shitshow. Another factor is my life is in a bit of a... What's that place Catholics go before they're admitted to Heaven? Yeah, that me, in that spot. Best laid plans of someday may not come for my own personal love story. But for today, God's grace and the sun shines upon us, so we'll tuck that nasty nugget away. And speaking of nasty nuggets, it's almost time to go back to my full time boy job. Pun totally intended.

I started off not knowing who my characters were. I didn't even have a plot. If you dig real deep back to high school English, you could say, "But, Sarah, how can you write a story and not know what you're going to write about?"
Crazy, huh?

Well, I've been doing some research and apparently you can craft a story from an opening line that's sticking in your head. As I've said before, by research I mean I Googled a statement and clicked on the first result. Actually I clicked on a few because I didn't like the answers the first couple pages presented to me. Alas, I found one that told me I could do it that way.

So what was the statement that was sticking in my head so much I began a whole story with it? It's embarrassing, actually. The kids were watching a DVR recording of Lizzard Lick Towing and Ronnie and Bitch in a Sausage Casing were chasing Bobby and his ex girlfriend and BiaSC states she needs to know what Ex Girlfriend is up to and Ronnie says, "I don't care if she's up to 6' 2", blah, blah, redneck blah.
Clever statement, Ronnie. I like it.

I wrote it down in a steno notepad, using the floating writing pen I keep hidden from the kids. (Does anyone else do either of these? Get a certain satisfaction from using a pen that glides across the page or hide these kinds of luxuries from their children?) One of my kids asked why I was handwriting this and the answer is, I don't know. It seems like a very writery thing to do. I also think it lends a step to the crafting process. I started thinking about who doesn't care what another character is up to and to whom the first character is speaking of. And all of the sudden a scene was set in my head and I was filling pages, crossing things out and leaving blanks for a more clever statement will be adding at a later date. The names of the characters may be changed eventually and really I'm not sure how/why I named them what I did. So far, an inconsequential character is named after my sister, Jaime, with no likeness to her at all, the name worked.

My characters do not have concrete physical descriptions. That's all part of the creative and editing processes. When I read, unless an author tells me their characters look like an actor/actress or the character personifies someone I know, they're often faceless hot bodies with the hair the author has described. I find I lose characters when I try to pinpoint facial features or they become blurby faces like on Cops. The flaw to an author stating a character is on likeness to a famous person is of I don't particularly find that person attractive I'm all, "No. You do not look like Channing Tatem. Josh Duhamel it is!" (Haters gonna hate, Channing fans. Please keep reading my stuff.)

I think I've nailed down my plot after writing my initial conversation. This may change as I'm writing, too. I really wanted to stay away from the lead male being in a sector of law enforcement because really I don't know jack about being a cop, but at this point, this seems to be the tone I'm setting myself up for. A plot outline may have saved me from this, but I just kept picturing a hard cover book full of blank pages when I tried to think of it as a whole product. So I've now got a beginning that needs to be rounded out with character descriptions and smoother introductions to the characters. The lead female's ex keeps popping up unannounced while I'm writing so I have resolved there is a reason for this. He obviously wants to be a part of the greater story, so I have devised that eventually he will be. This was another part that just fell into place for me.

The next thing I'm struggling with is, "What kind of book do I want this to be?" Hmmm. I'm most comfortable with contemporary romances that are told in a subjective but third person point of view. The view typically volleys between the lead female and the lead male character, using phrases like:
Ally felt like she should have packed it in for the day fifteen minutes after she got to work that morning. Looking around her stale office, she just couldn't take looking the dark, seventies colored Formica desk and washed out gray wall paper with pastel watercolored pictures in chinsy metal frames. Of course, if she left early, Mary, older squat lady would be passing rumors about Ally needing to attend to a gastrointestinal emergency before lunch break.
Or
He couldn't believe he let himself lose his temper like that around his daughter, leaving him feel like a giant tool.

But I've also read and enjoyed books wear the story is told completely subjectively like this:
I can't believe I'm still at work. I've got to be, of course, because packing it in for the day at 8:15 would not only reflect badly on my paycheck, but Mary The Stout Hag, in the office next to me would promptly spread it all over the place that it looked like my butt cheeks were clenched when i left and probably i had a case of the colossal squirts.

(These are just examples of stuff I made up, not part of the story I'm writing, btw.)

These subjective stories typically don't have the change in subjection leaving the main character to relay how she perceives other characters to feel. She also has to paint a picture of her surroundings, but the book can read at a quicker and quirkier pace.. These are usually the posher looking bigger than a paperback but smaller than a hardcover books.

Man, I really kind of sound like I paid attention I'm English class! Or maybe the people who did pay attention are saying, "Sarah, you're not even using the correct words."
I get points for using the correct yours and theirs though, right?

So, who wants to be my critique group? I'm looking for a few people to send my musings to and will honestly tell me where I'm leaving holes, what questions arise as a reader and honestly if it's crap that will never go anywhere. I'd like a mix of avid readers and people who don't read at all. This unpaid job description will let you brainstorm when warranted but not co-write. Just sayin'. Heck if you think it's something completely in attainable, shoot me an email as well.

Again, tomorrow no talking about writing. Spanky ye shall be.

Shopping Spree

We have a Winner! Miss Amy D. for Grand Meadow, MN won the fabulous prizes I had to offer and gave me the topic of A Book Shopping Spree. This was her response to her notification email:

Gotta love a girl who gives a good acceptance speech when none was warranted :)

So here goes my/her blog:
If you could go on a shopping spree, for books, would you be giddy as you were that time the drunk dad gave you twenty dollars too much for babysitting? Or would you do a funny lowered eyebrow, lip curled look?
Me? Not only would it be like the day I got paid forty bucks for three hours of babysitting but add the day I got my drivers license AND the day I grew boobies on top of that. These did not all happen on the same day, but they were truly great days in Sarah World. I'd be down right giddy.
I know reading isn't everyone's cup of coffee, but it's my favorite past time. When I first took up reading, I read lots of different genres of books.  Epic tales, autobiographies, non-fiction, horror, mystery, and finally settled in with a romance and I knew that was mine kind of reading. I had a well rounded view of how people wrote and what I cared for and what I didn't. 
Among the more 'cultured' things I've read, I read Roots by Alex Haley.
   
 It's long, but it's a well rounded tale with characters that I hated to see ill fated. Moving along with my diversified enlightenment, I read The Color Purple by Alice Walker. Good, good book. And if you want to go full stream go ahead and read The Help, too. I accidentally picked up an African American romance once. Somehow I feel like I should have known this one was different from the others being the cover was all done in colors of a Jamaican flag... I couldn't identify with the characters, so I quit that one early.
I do this. If the book goes nowhere, I quit. Some are easier than others to decide I want to go all honey badger and don't give a f*ck how it ends.

Like the third book of Fifty Shades? Yup, quit somewhere in the twelfth chapter. I did read the last two pages and was totally satisfied by not knowing all the Mr. &Mrs. Whateverhislastnamewas and boinking that was crammed in the middle.
    
Twilight and The Hunger Games- my sister had to talk my into finishing them. I will discuss my reasons in a different blog one of these days. I didn't even read The Girl series. I just thought I'd add them because it's been one set of books amongst my friends that they've recommended.
As far as series of books go, I loves me series of books. I enjoy the follow-through of a story even if it's different characters in each book. Romance writers tend to do this: Write books containing different members of a certain family. I like this because it's a bit of family reunion when earlier members are mentioned. Here are a few I've enjoyed:

 
The Full Series by Janet Evanovich and Charlotte Hughes



The Kentucky Bluegrass Series by Kathleen Brooks

Kowalski Series

Series I've enjoyed that are continuations of a set of the same characters-

Stephanie Plum Series by Janet Evanovich -  I caution you the beginning of the series is really well detailed and reads like a mystery, but poor Stephanie has been dressed like a sad nineties fashion victim. I had to mentally redress her. I also caution, the past few books have lost their luster. They really read like they've been copied and pasted for previous books. This saddens me because I used to count down the days until the new book release. I haven't even made it to the second chapter of the book that came out in November. But the early works are great!

Sookie Stackhouse by Charlaine Harris, Again, the series is dying. I have yet to read the last published book, but I was entertained through it. You'll be outraged by HBO's use of creative license on the True Blood series after reading these books.
     
Hanna Garvey Series by Suzan Ledbetter I love, love, love these books. These are my blanky books. They are the ones I reread when I need a vacation, need the comfort of thing remembered, I just don't know, I think it's the first series of books I had ever read and they spoke to me.


Shopaholic Series by Sophie Kinsella- The books rock, the movie sucks donkey butt.

Little House Books by Laura Ingalls Wilder- If you can't appreciate these books, you're dumb. And un-American.

In high school, I had a class called Novels. Best. Elective. Ever. I wasn't an avid reader at that time but I had filled my arts requirements, and the classes where we got to make and eat food, so I took Novels. I read a lot of Steven King. I liked Steven King back then. Today, I try not to let my emotions get riled up for no reason. Reading horror and suspense do not appeal to my want for unnecessary emotions. I also read The Odyssey. Ho Hum. While I can now appreciate the satirical outlook shows such as The Simpsons have taken on it, that's all the good it did me in life.

I'm not sure how a book shopping spree topic turned into Books Sarah's Read and Enjoyed, but so it is and I'll tell you more.
I would read anything Tina Fey ever wanted to write. I'm in the middle of Bossypants and Paul keeps looking at me weird because I'm busting out laughing. Tina Fey gets me. I get her. We could be friends. I think I'm going to read more of these type books- Betty White, Chelsey Handler, Jenny McCarthy....
Getting back to the original topic, if I were privy to a book shopping spree, I'd be able to check out all the books on the New York Times Best Seller list. If I could afford to read best sellers and top authors, I'd be a more educated and well rounded person. I just have such a problem with spending thirteen dollars on a Kindle book when the paper version is seventeen.  According to Amazon I have purchased (free books included) 180 books this year. Okay, so a few of those are titles such as "Orangy the Goldfish" are thanks to Ella, but 'tis true, I've read 180 books this past year. I'm counting paper books and pirated borrowed books in that total.
If I were to go on that spree, I'd go to an actual book store and look for titles to send to my Kindle app for my iPhone. There's something about bookstores that's a bit magical and upscale. The downtown (Rochester, MN) Barnes and Noble taking residence in an old movie theater building with it's castle balconies and starry ceiling, enhanced by the smell of the coffee shop and new books is invigorating to me.

There are SO many books and authors I'd like to lead you toward, but I'm going to leave you with what I've bestowed upon you this evening.